The Forgotten Times
by Kumiko-kun
Summary: Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression, guilt and fear play a part in the journey of the young man looking to regain what he had lost so long ago... Happiness. Riza x Havoc, and maybe Roy x Ed updated! sorry that its late!
1. Tombstones

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters TT

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, One-sided Winry x Ed, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 1

The darkness of the sky matched the solemn mood below on the ground. A chilly wind blew through the small cemetery as one man stood at two tombstones. Clutching his jacket closer around him, he stared down at the writing on the old tombstones. One silent tear slid down his check only to fall into the wind before it could hit the ground. The memories of a time long ago, of happy days full of fun and laughter flooded back into his mind. Everything he once had was gone. All of his happiness had been taken away when she had died so long ago. His brother was taken from him for a mistake that they had made together. He blamed himself for the loss of both his mother and brother. A light rain began to fall from the sky onto the ground below. There wasn't much that this young man could do but turn and walk away from his past, from the pain that fill his entire body. It had been years since he had visited the graves he now stood at. Years he had taken, trying to forget what he had done, separating himself from all of his friends and family. He was alone and he knew now that there was little that he could do to forget what he had done.

"_Mom, please let us play just a little bit more," Ed whined as he, Al and Winry stared up into her eyes. _

_Trisha giggled slightly before nodding. She waited quietly while the three went to hid in the house. Counting out loud, she reached to ten before making her way around the house to find the kids. First she found Winry hiding at the bottom of a closet under a fallen coat. Smiling, she took her hand before going to find her sons. A loud crash from the other side of the house startled her before she could hear the screams coming from the source. She made her way to the source of the noise quickly with Winry behind her. At the end of a long hall she found that the living room was caught on fire. The rug that sat beneath the coffee table was set ablaze by a fallen lamp._

"_Winry, run," she yelled before trying to get into the room. Winry did as she was told. _

"_Al? Ed?" She called, hoping to get an answer from her boys. "Please answer me!"_

"_Mom?" Al called out rather quietly from her right. _

_Turning toward the right, she saw her boys hiding beneath a table behind where the fire was. She tried to get closer to them but the fire began spread through the room._

"_Boys, you have to run, get out of here," she cried, watching the fear rise in her sons' eyes as she couldn't get near them._

_Ed looked up at his mother and took Al's hand in his own and pulled Al out of the room along with him. After they were away from the room a good bit, Ed heard an explosion behind him then another scream. Stopping, he turned around and wanted to go back but Al kept him still._

"_Al! Let go, we need to go get mom!" Ed yelled, pulling free from his brother's grip._

"_Ed! NO!" Al lunged forward to push Ed out of the way as the ceiling above where the fire was growing grew unstable. The plank fell down and landed on Al and Ed's left leg, trapping them beneath._

_Ed screamed in pain as his leg was crushed beneath the wooden plank before looking around. He saw Al crushed underneath the same plank that trapped him. With the fire burning around him, he ripped his leg out from beneath the fallen wood and reached back to pull Al out. Reaching out with his right arm, he grabbed a hold of Al's arm. Fear filled Al's face when he saw the look in Ed's face. Ed's arm was burning up but he couldn't get his brother out. A tear fell down Ed's face just before he fainted. _

It was memory of a time that he wanted to forget, he killed his mother and in doing so killed his brother. Everything that happened that day was his fault. If he had not wanted to play anymore, Al and his mother would still be alive and his limbs would still be attached to his body. He had lived with Winry and Pinako while he was younger but once he was older he left them and joined the military. It was all he could do to forget the day his family died. He wanted to disappear from their lives, wanted them to forget the killer of his family. The military taught him everything he needed to know. Alchemy kept him alive and out of the way of Winry and Pinako, who he knew were looking for him.

Slowly he removed the watch from his pocket, sighing when he realized what time it was. Turning away from the gravestones, he made his was down the hill and to the train station. He still had to report to central to give his report on his last mission to the man who had done everything he could to keep him alive. No matter what happened to this kid, the bastard always managed to keep him alive. Six years he struggled within the military, trying to keep out of the way of people and to die. Death was what he wanted; it was what he wished for at every mission since three years ago. The memories of that day three years ago still haunted his every move along with what he had done to his mom and brother. Even now, at seventeen, no one had managed to convince him that the death of his mother and brother were not his fault. Shoving the watch back into his pocket, he finished the journey to the station with a filled conscious and worried heart.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

The general sat at his desk, staring at the paperwork that lay in front on him piled up high. Sighing, he began reading one of the many reports he had been given in the days passed. Today was the day that Fullmetal was to come in and turn in another report for him to read. It was always one report after another from that boy, yet he never got tired of seeing him enter his office. Just knowing that he was alive was enough for the general. He wished he could do more for him; he wanted to see the young man smile so badly. Six years ago he had met him, wandering the streets of central as an eleven year old boy. The general took him in when there was no one he could turn to, to take care of the child, that is.

"Has it really been six years," he asked himself as he laid the paper down that he was reading to stand up from his desk and look out the window. Three years after he had met the young boy and taught him alchemy and everything he knew, it looked as if the boy was going to change. Yet, that changed on the day he had sent him to the east for a mission to search out a known killer. He had shut the memories out from his own mind but he knew that the young man would not do that, nor could he.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts on the matter. Turning around, he found Hawkeye standing in his office with a worried look on her face.

"Yes, Hawkeye," he asked, trying to stay as calm as he could despite the look on her face worrying him.

"Sir," she began, stepping into his office and closing the door behind her. "I've just received word from the Central hospital stating the Fullmetal is currently in fatal condition. Apparently something had happened at the station on his way here."

By the time she had finished what she was saying, he was out of the office and walking down the hallway. She was close behind him, telling him everything that she was told on the phone not too long ago. The general sat in the back of the car while Hawkeye drove, he drummed his fingers on the door as it seemed like the ride was never going to end. Why did he worry so much over this subordinate? Was it because he had raised him from the age of eleven without knowing his past that pained him to see him in such pain? Or was it more than that? Shaking his head, he continued to stare out the window at the passing buildings. He wanted to arrive at the hospital quickly to make sure that the young man was okay and that everything would be okay.

"Excuse me, sir, but we are here," Hawkeye said before exiting the car to open his door. She followed him up the stairs to the hospital doors before stopping the general with her hand. "Roy."

He stopped just before the doors but didn't turn around.

"He's going to be okay," she said, taking a step forward to rub his back. "He's stronger than any of us can tell. Let's just believe in him."

Roy turned around to look at Hawkeye. "Have you ever looked into his eyes? There's nothing but pain and regret in those eyes. It pains me to look into them," he said not waiting for her reply. "There's guilt that he holds inside for something that I know barely anything about hides behind those eyes. I want to know what happened when he was a kid. All I get are the screams that he has at night and the nightmares that plague his every dream. Do you understand how hard it is to care for someone when you know practically nothing about their past?"

She shook her head in reply.

Slowly, he turned away from her as if to go inside of the hospital but instead he just stood there, staring at the stone walkway beneath his feet.

"Did I ever tell you what happened to him in the east on that mission three years ago?" He whispered, barely audible to her ears.

"Sir?" She wasn't sure what he was talking about but it looked as if it pained him to talk about it.

"That day, three years ago when he returned from the mission in the east…"

* * *

**To be continued….**

**A/N: this was intended to be a one-shot but as I began writing this, I began to get ideas of what I wanted this story to be about and how I wanted it to turn out. Please review with what you think of this please and if you think it may be worth continuing!! PLZ!!**


	2. Memories

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters TT

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, One-sided Winry x Ed, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 2

"That day, three years ago when he returned from the mission in the east something had happened to Ed," Roy stated as they entered the hospital to find the young man. He kept his voice hushed so only Riza could hear him. "The report mentioned nothing of what happened but I could tell that whoever he fought had done this to him. He came back to central in far worse condition than anyone had ever seen him in before." Roy continued as they rounded a corner. "His automail was in pieces, his bones broken and his eyes full of fear and death. He won't speak of that day, not to me not to anyone. That day changed him."

He shook his head before continuing. "He was getting better, Riza, he was. I could tell by the way he used to look at us when we all would laugh at the office. It pained me to see him the way he was when he came back. It looked like his entire life was stripped from him, like everything he had worked for was gone."

Roy held his hands out in front of him for a moment, stopping his walk. "That day, he cried tears that were held back for so long without saying a word. I could tell that he was holding something in from me," he sighed. Clenching his fists, he made his way toward Ed's room again. "He's still hiding something from me and I want to know what's wrong."

"Sir, it would be best not to provoke him," Riza said when they finally reached the room they were looking for. "Let him rest some before you start your interrogation. We are both worried for his sake, since we don't know what happened then or now for that matter."

Roy smirked at her before sitting outside the room on the open chairs. "I won't, Hawkeye," he said. "I hear him screaming in his sleep some nights. The night he came back from that mission, all he did was cry and apologize to his mother and brother. Whatever happened on that mission had something to do with that, I know it. The scars strewn all over his body were not inflicted by another person but he refuses to speak of their origins as well. I worry about him, Hawkeye."

"We all do, sir," she said simply, laying her hand on his shoulder.

Roy sighed before covering his face with his hands. "I know but…" he paused for a moment as a nurse walked passed them. "When he returned from that mission and after he was in the hospital for weeks, he hasn't spoken a word to anyone. Even at the meetings we have about missions after that one, he refuses to speak one word. That mission must've been one that touched him in the heart, where it would hurt the most. I've gone through that mission folder and his report too many times to have missed something."

"I'm sure that something will turn up, sir," she said, quietly as she watched his facial expressions change when the door to Ed's room opened up.

"You are General Mustang?" The doctor asked, looking at where Roy was sitting.

Roy nodded before standing.

"It's not good," the doctor said as he began to explain the situation. "It seems like he was shot in the stomach, we were able to remove the bullet from his abdomen but he will need to be bedridden for some time before he is able to move at all. The bullet caused some internal bleeding and damages that we were able to fix but something seems off about him. We are still running some tests to see if there is something else."

"What do you mean by 'something off'?" Roy asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"In order to get the bullet out, we had to sedate him to keep him still yet his body seemed to reject the sedative to the point where his face cringed at the incisions and his eyelids flickered but he did not wake," he explained. "The nurse said the monitor showed him to be completely sedated; however, I doubt a sedated person reacts this way. We are unsure whether it is something mental or physical to the reaction of the chosen sedative."

"He has nightmare, doctor," Roy replied, glancing at the closed door to Ed's room. "That may be the cause of it."

"We won't know for sure until we run a few tests, but for now we want to find out if he has a place to stay when he is released," the doctor stated, looking down at the clipboard in front of him.

"He can stay with me," Roy said, not bothering to look at the doctor.

"Very well then, let me get the papers ready," he said before turning to go. "He might be asleep now but you are welcomed to go inside."

* * *

Ed lay in the hospital bed, gripping the sheets in pain and agony as the doctors around him tried their hardest to calm him down. He could hear the doctors around him yelling for assistance as he grew more and more erratic. The doctors removed the blood-soaked shirt as Ed screamed in pain. Memories began to haunt him as he they injected something into his arms. He could feel himself slipping away just as the images began to show in his head. Images of things he wanted to forget but his mind held onto.

_His body was nearly torn to pieces with his automail in pieces beside him on the ground. Pain wrecked his body as he knelt there before the laughing man who had done this to him. His flesh hand held his stomach as he coughed up blood from where the man had kicked him. This was a first for him getting beat so badly in a fight. Usually he was the one to lord over those who he fought against. Now it seemed like the tables had turned for him and in a bad way. _

_The man laughed, watching him spit up blood. Slowly, he walked over to where Ed knelt on the ground and leaned down. He rested his hand on Ed's head before smirking and gripping his hair to pull him up to look at him in eyes. A smirk graced the man's face before dropping Ed onto the ground._

"_You look so pathetic," he said, kneeling down beside Ed's limp form. "I bet your mother thought that when you killed her, and you let your brother push you out of the way to kill him as well."_

_Ed wanted to scream at the man. Wanted to yell that he was wrong but he couldn't. His voice refused to work and his body only screamed in pain. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the man laugh at him. It was too pathetic to just lay there and take the pain given to him._

"_It's too bad that your brother isn't here to see you in such pain," the man laughed then stopped thinking a moment, taping his chin. "Oh, that's right, you killed him. It's your fault, Fullmetal, everything is your fault. I watched you that night running around in that little house of yours playing. Too bad you wanted to play more. They would all have been alive if you hadn't of wanted to play again. Kicking that lamp over onto rug, perfect way to cover their deaths. Too bad you killed them."_

_The man walked around a bit with his hand behind his back. _

"_You became a murderer so young in life, Ed," he laughed. "To kill your brother and your mother is so heartless. You wanted to be pitied because your family was gone? Did you want everyone to feel sorry for you? You are a murderer, a heartless murderer!"_

_Ed struggled to get up from where he was laying, tears forcing their way down his cheeks._

"_Don't deny it, Fullmetal, you wanted them dead so you killed them. You could have saved them both," he said, watching his struggle to stand. "You know you could have kept them both alive. Just face it," he smirked, "you had every opportunity to keep them alive but your selfishness came into play and you just let them die. Their blood is on your hands, they died because of you!" _

"No!" Ed yelled, quickly sitting up in the hospital bed which he found to be a horrible idea when a sharp pain shot up his chest. Falling back onto the bed he saw that Hawkeye and Mustang were both standing beside the bed with worried looks on their faces.

Sweat covered his brow as he looked around the room before finding his way to Mustang's eyes. He could see in his eyes that he was scared and worried but he looked away from those dark eyes. He didn't want anyone else in his life; they would die because of him. His eyes were full of unshed tears that he meant to keep that way, he had cried too much for anyone to see his weak side. Although being in a hospital after what had happened didn't make him seem any less weak. His hand lay absently on his abdomen where the bullets had passed through. All he had to do that day was return to central and turn in one report but it had to turn out this way.

He could hear Roy and Riza talking amongst themselves beside the bed but he didn't turn around to see them. Their lives were too precious to become a part of his; they would end up dying just like his family. He would end up killing them just as he had done already before. Slowly, his mind slipped off into sleep where he hoped to have one peaceful night of sleep.

* * *

A/N: okay this chapter TOTALLY sucked lol. Sorry about this took me a bit to write it and I am totally sorry for it being crappy. Just trying to figure out where I want this story to go and how I want it to end!! Any suggestions are welcomed and I will update soon!! Reviews would keep me going to see how much people like this one!!


	3. Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters TT

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters TT

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 3

Roy sat in the chair alongside the hospital bed, watching the young man toss and turn in his sleep. He had been watching the boy sleep since Riza had left to go home to take care of Havoc. The book he had been reading was becoming less and less interesting as the night wore on. In the end, he gave up on the book and began to watch Ed. He was worried about the young man, more than he was before. Someone had shot him, someone wanted the Fullmetal alchemist to not survive the ride back to central but he had no idea who it could have been. He had Hughes running around asking questions of the people who might have witnessed anything on the train station or on the way to the military offices. Sighing, he glanced at the clock that hung on the wall.

_12:45 am? Damn, I've been here too long, _he thought to himself as he stood to stretch. Before he left the small hospital room, he glanced back at Ed and saw that his eyes were open. "Good night, Fullmetal," he said quietly before leaving completely.

* * *

For a while, Ed lay in that bed, alone and quiet. He had been awake the entire time the general had been visiting him but he didn't want to respond. His mind whirled around the memories he had. The man in them told him that it was his fault that his mother and brother died and by his hand none the less. It was true that he had knocked the lamp over but the fire wasn't his fault.

_Why do I keep thinking of this? It wasn't my fault, _he thought to himself. _I knocked the lamp over but I didn't start that fire. Did I? _He questioned himself, covering his eyes with his fresh hand. _I remember knocking the lamp over and running out of the house without Al and mom but what happened between then is what I don't remember. Why can't I remember what happened? I lost my arm and leg in the fire. It's my fault, I killed them. I knocked the lamp over. I set the house on fire. They died because of me. _

Tears began to roll down his face, soaking the arm that was covering his eyes and the pillow beneath his head. His eyes grew red as the tears didn't stop with his voice becoming hoarse from the silent screams. The nightmares were all true; every one where Al and his mother died, they were true and he caused it all. With every memory that came back to haunt him while he was awake, a nightmare waited for him in dreamland. Every nightmare, he stood off to the side and watched as they died. His mother and brother suffered in every one and he did nothing to stop it. He would scream and cry but do nothing. It was as if he was locked in place in every nightmare he had. With unmoving feet he was forced to watch their deaths every night with a sadistic pleasure that was beginning to grow within him.

His leg and shoulder began to burn just like they had the night the fire started. The fire, that was his fault, took away his own arm and leg as punishment for the death of his family. A fit of screams wrecked his body as the memories began to flood his mind yet again. The voice that plagued his every dream, both day and night, screamed in his head. He just wanted everything to end, his suffering and the suffering he was causing everyone else he knew.

A passing nurse, saw his distress and began to panic as she tried to call more nurses to come help her. Hours passed before they were able to calm him down enough to sedate him. Ed could feel himself falling; his eyes were heavy and grew heavier as the sedation kicked in until he was completely gone.

* * *

Roy sat in his office the next day, staring at the backside of the door. His head rested in one hand as he tapped his pen against the desk with his other. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he leaned back in his chair to stretch. The night before he had barely slept, arriving home well after one in the morning then having to be in at work the next morning took a toll on him. He was not young like he used to be and the sleepless nights and worrying about the young Ed was not good for him. Although, he couldn't ignore the worry that grew in his heart when he thought of the young man. He had thought long and hard about Ed when he returned from that mission three years ago. The fact that he barely spoke a word to anyone scared him. Didn't he want anyone to know what he was feeling? On occasion he would get to glance into the golden eyes and try to see what he could see. Fear and regret filled those eyes.

_Is there anything that I can do to help him? _He thought to himself as he reluctantly began to work on his paperwork. _With his family gone, who does he turn to when something goes wrong? _

A few hours went by with the general furiously signing away on the papers piled on his desk. He wore a worried look on his face along with a questioning look in his eyes. At each interruption he had, he managed to mask the two feelings that he held within him to answer the question asked or to reply accordingly to the statement received. He wasn't really sure that he wanted everyone else to know what he was so worried about at the moment. If anyone really tried, they would be able to figure it out rather quickly.

As he worked along, the phone began to ring, startling him out of his stupor. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he reached over and answered the phone.

"Mustang here." He answered, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Sir, a Dr. Rellon is on the line, he wishes to speak to you about Fullmetal," Riza replied in a very secretarial voice. "Should I patch him through?"

"Go ahead," he replied, leaning back in his chair. Not too much later, he heard a voice on the other end. "Good morning, Doctor."

"Good morning, General," the doctor replied in a less cheerful voice. "I'd like to discuss with you something that happened with the young man last night after your departure."

"Did something happen to him?" Roy asked, fear rose up in his voice.

"Quite honestly, sir, I am worried about him," was the reply. "I have never seen someone react to a gunshot wound like he did last night. The nurse that was supposed to be taking care of him found him last night screaming out silent tears and crying. It looked as if some type of pain was wrecking his body but we couldn't find a source. As far as his wound goes, he is all but healed, I'd like to see him go home where he would be more comfortable but I am worry about him."

"Silent screams?"

"Yes, she was saying that he would open his mouth to scream but nothing would come out." There was slight pause before the doctor began to speak again. "I would like it if there was someone that could watch him for awhile before he is left alone. These silent screams and the crying are very unusual and I fear that something might happen to him."

"As do I," the general replied, sighing slightly. He too was worried about the young man and about the man who had shot him being out in the streets. "As far as I know, the young major is all alone with no family except his friend back in Risenbol. If it would be alright, I will take him home and he can rest at my house."

"That is quite acceptable, General Mustang," the doctor replied, chuckling slightly. "I would have wanted nothing else. I can release him tonight but I would ask you to keep a close eye on him, he seems to be afraid of something."

"Yes, of course, Dr. Rellon."

"I must be getting back to work, general; I will see you tonight to discharge him."

With that Roy hung the phone up and leaned back in his chair. _Silent scream? That worries me more than before. Last night he seemed fine while he slept. _Sighing, he stood up from his desk, leaving the pen on the desktop. _Why did I volunteer myself to take care of him? Of course I worry about him but I don't really know how to take care of him. I'll do the best that I can, I guess._

He opened the door to the outer office and found himself in front of Riza, who had just gotten up to enter his office.

"Sir," she began, stepping back. "Hughes has just sent a message to you."

"What is it?" _I don't have time for this, _he thought to himself.

"He states that he has found out who shot Fullmetal, sir," she replied, glancing down at the paper she held in her hands. "I tried to reach you but your phone was busy."

"That's quit alright. What name did Hughes give you?"

She frowned as she looked at the paper. "A Miss Rockbell, sir."

_Winry?! But why? _Roy stared at Riza, not wanting to believe what he had heard come from her mouth. "Winry?"

"Yes, sir," she stated now holding the paper against her chest watching him.

**

* * *

**

A/N: sorry to end it there but I thought that might be a good place to stop. I have some ideas about how I want to continue this but I can't really unless I know that you guys are enjoying this story or really want me to continue this!! So Review please!!


	4. Pain

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters T_T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters T_T

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

Ps…. Sorry it took me a bit longer than I thought to type up this chapter and get it put out there. Thanks to **GreedxEd** and **JustAnotherBleachFan** for reviewing my story!!! Okay on with the story…

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 4

Roy sat in his car outside of the hospital, staring out at the front windshield. Slowly he slid his hands together on the steering wheel and placed his head on his hands. He wanted to go into the hospital and tell Ed that they had found who had done this to him but another half of him didn't want that. How would he tell someone that the person they knew for their entire life just tried to kill them? Sighing, he stopped the engine and removed himself from the car to enter the hospital. A million thoughts ran through his head as he made his way through the hospital to Ed's room. He wore a frown on his face; the voices in his mind were fighting constantly on the way. The doctor found him standing outside the young man's room with a dreary expression on his face.

"General?" The doctor began as he approached. "I'm sure I told you that the young man was alright on the phone."

Roy looked up and smirked at him. "Yeah you did but I found out some horrible news before I got here," he replied, turned back to look at the door. "I can't tell you what it is but I am trying to get calmed down before I go in. It's enough that Fullmetal refuses to talk but I would rather him not see me in this condition."

Doctor Rellon nodded slightly before entering the young man's room. In the doorway behind him the general stood watching him as he checked Fullmetal once more before he was going to release him.

Roy stared at the young man, who was currently staring out the hospital window with little emotion on his face. He wanted to help him but what could he do? Ed said nothing to anyone about how he felt or what had happened so long ago before he joined the military. He only spoke when it was utmost importance that he did. Too bad for him that Roy was going to try his hardest to get him to talk now.

"Okay, general, everything checks out to be okay," the doctor stated as he glanced down at the charts in front of him. "However, I do advise the he stays in bed for at least three days to make sure that nothing opens up again. I'll give you some stuff that he is to take for the pain when it gets bad but only so often, we don't want him to become addicted to the stuff. He should be completely recovered in about two weeks." He paused for a second to glance back at Ed. "I need to talk to you alone for a moment," he said to Roy when he turned back around.

He led the general out of the hospital room to right outside. "I called you to take him home but I am also worried about his mental state. This is the rarest case I've had in a long time, sir. My nurse told me that she found him thrashing about before I was called in last night to sedate the young man. He was screaming silent screams into the air with terrible sweats. I believe that this is caused my nightmares but I was not there to see that start of this. Please just watch him for me and if anything happens call me."

The doctor handed a small card to the general along with the papers to sign Fullmetal out of the hospital.

"Sign these and hand them into the nurse at the front desk then you can take him home," the doctor said, glancing back at the door. "Please just let me know how he does in the next couple of weeks."

"Yes, of course, doctor," Roy said before entering the room again to sit beside the bed where Ed sat. For awhile he stayed quiet, filling out the papers that were attached on the clipboard.

"General…"

Roy looked up, startled by Fullmetal's voice. Ed was now looking at the general with pain in his eyes, not even bothering to try to mask it.

"Yes, Fullmetal?"

Ed turned to look back out the window. "I'm sorry," he whispered, not wanting to look at the general when he apologized.

"Sorry for what," he asked, going back to work on the paperwork. "You have done nothing wrong that I can see."

Silence filled the room for awhile before Roy finished the paperwork and stood to leave.

"I… don't want to be a burden on you," he heard Ed say when his back was turned toward him.

Roy turned around to the young man to find him staring up at him. He slowly walked over to the bed and leaned on the side, getting a bit close to Ed. With his hand that wasn't holding the clip-board he reached up and put his hand on Ed's shoulder, shaking him just a bit.

"Edward," he started as he looked straight into his golden eyes. "You will never be a burden to me or to anyone else. I'm here for you now and always, okay? Tell me anything and I will do my best to help you out, I promise." Standing back up, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at Ed's face. "Now, come on, let's get you home."

_Home?_Ed thought to himself, watching as the man just stared at him. _I have no home. _ Though he wanted to reply with something else, Ed just nodded his head and pushed the covers off of himself with a bit of trouble. When he swung his legs over the side, he could himself become a bit weak when he stood. With his first step he began to fall but two strong arms caught him before he could.

Roy chuckled a bit before helping Ed walk out of the hospital, only stopping at the front desk to talk with the nurse stationed there.

Ed sat in a chair, a blank expression on his face as he watched Roy talk with the woman behind the counter. If he could, he would have left, years he had spent watching the man hit on the poor women of central and he really didn't care for it. Even if he could do nothing about it and cared little for what happened to him, he felt for the woman. Maybe it was because of what happened with his mother so long ago that makes him feel for them.

_Mom? _He thought, looking at the woman. _Mom, I'm sorry. _A tear slid down his cheek but he did his best to keep himself calm; although, that would prove harder than it seemed. The memories of his mother's death once again flashed into his mind, plaguing him with images. He tried to keep quiet as the tears slid down his face, looking away from the nurse and Roy. A quiet sob escaped from his lips as he sat, thinking. He hoped that Roy wouldn't hear the sob with him being so far away. He didn't want to get close to him; he didn't want the general to worry about him anymore. All he wanted was to be alone to atone for the sins he had committed.

"Ed?" Roy asked, having heard the sob and came to investigate. "Ed, look at me," he commanded when the young man wouldn't turn toward him. Sighing, he reached up and turned his head toward him with some resistance. "What's wrong?"

Ed shook his head, not wanting to tell him. He didn't want anyone knowing what he had done.

Roy stood and looked at the nurse. With a nod of his head, he reached down and helped Ed to his feet before leading him out to the car. It was true, he was worried about Ed and he wanted to know why he was crying but pressuring him now at this weak state would be bad. He had to keep Ed relaxed and stress-free but he was really unsure of how to go about doing so. He had a bit of trouble getting Ed into the car, with only one hand to work with and his arm to hold him up. Once he got the young alchemist into the car, he went around his side and got in.

The drive to his house felt like hours when neither of them spoke. Roy didn't dare press the subject of Ed's crying and Ed was trying not to cry anymore than he had already. When they finally reached the house, Ed stared out the window at the small house. He had expected the rich bastard to have a large home where he kept his many woman friends happy but this was quite the opposite. It was small and quaint with small rose bushes outside of the house adding a bit of color to the exterior. Ed pushed the door open some before swinging his feet out and found Roy standing there waiting to help him to the house.

Roy unlocked the door to the house only to find that the phone was ringing. He ignored the phone until he got Ed settled on the coach and the door closed.

"Mustang here," he answered, watching Ed as he looked around the room.

"Roy? This is Hughes."

"Yes?"

"I've got bad news," Hughes replied, worry filling his voice. "It seems that it wasn't just Winry who is after Ed, there are more of them."

"More of them?"

"Yes, I believe that it's the homunculus," was the reply. "I think that Envy had something to do with why Winry shot Ed. I don't know how but I think he said some…."

The line went dead on the other end.

"Hughes?" No answer. "HUGHES?!" Again no answer came to the dead line. Roy took the phone away from his ear and stared at the receiver. _What happened? Maes, you better be all right. _He thought to himself as he placed the phone down to go back to Ed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hughes stood at the phone booth staring into the eyes of Envy, the shape-shifting Homunculus. The phone had been knocked out of his hands by the monster before he could Roy the important part.

"We can't have you spilling our plan to the dear general," Envy laughed as he lunged toward Hughes with hatred in his eyes.

A scream filled the air as well as the splatter of blood that now stained the ground before the fallen victim.

* * *

A/N: hehe sorry to end it there folks but I need to keep a cliffhanger going ^_^ so REVIEW please or else I dont know that you guys are interested in seeing what happens with Hughes or if Ed is gonna be okay or not!! It all depends on you!! Thanks ^_^ enjoy!! And again sorry for the wait


	5. Gone

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters T_T

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

Sorry again for the slow update on this one!

I was having a really hard time

writing this chapter… but here you are and sorry!!

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 5

Roy sat beside Ed for awhile, neither wanting to move from their positions. Truthfully, Roy was worried about how his call with Hughes had ended just moments before while Ed was just really uncomfortable being so close to his superior. A sigh escaped Roy's lips as he moved his hands to rub his tired face. His thoughts swirled around two subjects at the moment, one being Hughes and the other being Ed. He wanted to know if Hughes was okay and what had happened to cause the line to go dead. However, he didn't want to run out on Ed and leave him to fend for himself. His brain was attacking him at the moment and he didn't know what to do. Glancing to his left he looked at Ed, who looked like he was sweating a bit. Maybe it was the fact that he still had yet to remove his jacket since they entered the house.

"Come on, Edward," he said, quietly as he stood. "Let's get you upstairs so you can rest, okay?"

For a moment Ed didn't respond, that is until he notice that a hand was in front of his face. He looked up at Roy them took the hand offered to him and let himself be helped up. It took them a bit to get him up the stairs and into the room but Ed was happy when he could finally lie down in a real bed after so long. Roy had helped him get out of his jacket and shoes but Ed had refused to change into anything before he curled up in the bed and closed his eyes.

Roy stopped in the doorway to look back at Ed, who was now snoring in his bed with the blankets nearly already off of him. Sighing, Roy closed the door behind him and went back to the kitchen. Once he got there, he stared at the phone for a moment before picking it up and dialing. He sat on the chair closest to him at the kitchen table. After a few moments he heard the phone pick up on the other end.

"Hello," he heard a woman answer.

"Hawkeye?"

"Sir, you do realize that it's nearing midnight," she said, trying to keep the anger out of her voice.

"I'm sorry but I need you to do something for me," he said into the receiver with a sigh before continuing.

* * *

The darkness above the sky matched the mood in the streets below. Blood covered the pavement beneath the fallen man. One other stood above him, smiling in success at his victory in the worthless battle. One hit and he killed the man that would ruin everything they had worked for. Everything that the homunculi wanted was slowly coming into play and that man was trying to ruin everything. Too bad he wasn't as strong as he was lead to believe. Walking over to the seemingly lifeless body, Envy took his foot and pushed him over. With a smile he turned and left the man to lie on the street with no one to know he was gone.

* * *

In the morning the next day, the atmosphere in the office was gloomy. The news of Hughes going missing had spread throughout the entire office while that of Ed's condition was still secret from most. Roy sat at his desk, staring at the papers that sat in front of him in piles. He worked through them slowly, his mind working on a different modem than normal with thoughts of Hughes and Ed plaguing his mind. The evening before, he had called up Hawkeye to ask her to find out what happened to Hughes after telling her what had happened on the phone. She had agreed, knowing that his mental state would not be able to handle it if he were to find out what he was in fact dead or otherwise.

When Roy had left that morning, he had a hard time convincing himself that Ed would be okay alone in his home. He worried that maybe envy or the homunculi would come after him or Winry. Though, it was hard to believe that the young woman would want to harm Ed as well. As far as he knew, they were on good terms with each other ever since his joining the military at such a young age. He would often see her in town when he came back from missions to fix his automail that had been damaged and even though most of the time they fought there was never any real hatred between the two.

Sighing, he sat his pen down on the desk to turn around to the window behind him. He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes. _I am beginning to worry too much for my own good about the boy, _he thought to himself. _He should be able to keep himself alive at the house without too much trouble. _

A soft knock on the door brought him from his thoughts. "Sir?"

"Yes, Hawkeye," he replied, not bothering to turn around.

"Sir, I've just received news from Havoc," she continued as she closed the door behind her. "They still haven't found anything about Hughes. He's had an entire group of people scouring the city last night looking for him without any signs. I'm sorry, sir."

Roy laid his head down on his desk with a sigh. _Dammit, now I have two things to worry about, _he thought to himself as he closed his eyes.

"Let me know if anything else comes up, Hawkeye, you are dismissed," he replied, sighing into his desk.

She nodded before leaving but not before placing an envelope on the desk by his head.

After a few moments, Roy looked up from where he was laying on his desk and stared at the envelope. Sitting up, he reached down and opened the envelope before pulling out the paper inside. His eyes grew wider as he read the letter that had been sent to him.

* * *

Ed sat on the bed, now awake and staring out the window. Roy had insisted that morning that he was not to get out of bed unless he needed to use the bathroom and that he would be home at lunchtime to fix him something to eat. A million thought ran through his mind as he sat there on the bed, ideas of his past and thoughts of the future. He remembered doing so many stupid things in his past yet there was no guilt in them besides the one act.

"You do remember, it was your fault that they died," someone said suddenly around him.

Panic filled Ed's body as he looked around for the source of the voice.

"Do their screams mean nothing to you?"

There was no one there. He was alone in the room yet he could clearly hear someone talking to him.

"You live now with the knowledge that you killed them and with what? No remorse for doing so?"

Ed grabbed his head, wishing for the voice to go ahead. Covering his ears, he tried his best to drown out the sound of the scratchy voice.

"You can't deny what you did, Edward Elric," the voice laughed. "I know what you did that night to them."

The voice was becoming clearer now as it continued to speak. He knew that voice, he was beginning to recognize the tone of the voice.

"Come on, Ed, don't you remember what you did?" It chided.

"Stop it!" He gasped out, shaking his head. "It wasn't my fault!"

"Oh but it was, look at me, Ed and tell me that you didn't kill them," the voice laughed, suddenly very loud. "You've got the poor general doing everything for you now. Couldn't you have let them live and lived peacefully with a family?"

Silence filled the room for a moment before Ed felt safe enough to open his eyes. When he looked up, he saw someone he didn't expect to be standing there, standing at the foot of the bed. The blond hair that fell down around her face shined in the sunlight yet the glare in her eyes scared the young man.

"Winry?"

"Don't tell me some bull crap story, Edward," she yelled, tears forming in her eyes. "I've looked for you for years now only to just find you to give you what you deserve! You killed your brother and your mother, for what. Ed?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't."

"Liar!" She raised her left arm up in the air, a small pistol held in her hand. "You killed them, Ed; it's your fault they died."

She squeezed the trigger, letting loose the bullet with a loud bang.

"No!" He screamed before feeling the bullet puncture his left shoulder, sending pain straight through his body. Blood began to stain the sheets that were surrounding him as he cried. His voice was raspy as he kept saying 'no' over and over again.

"I hope you die, Edward Elric," he heard Winry say before he passed out from the pain.

**

* * *

A/N: okay sorry folks for leaving it there at the ending and for taking such a long time for updating this thing . I had a serious case of writers block at one point and man I couldn't get passed it at like all Again I apologize. Forgive me please!! And review ^_^**


	6. Letter

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA or the characters T_T

**Warnings: **Language, yaoi maybe, blood

**Author: **Kumiko-kun

**Pairings: **Riza x Havoc, and maybe Roy x Ed

**Description: **Ed remembers the day that he destroyed everything he loved. Depression overcomes himself as the memories flood his mind. Is there any way to return Ed to a state of happiness that was taken away from him at such a young age?

Sorry again for the slow update on this one!

**The Forgotten Times**

Part 6

Roy's eyes seemed larger than his head when he finished reading the letter that he had received. He was standing behind his desk, staring down unbelieving at the letter. The letter, he didn't want to believe it; the words just couldn't be true.

_Mustang,_

_Let me tell you a secret about someone you know. You know exactly who I am talking about, the young alchemist that you harbor in that retched house of yours. He has you pity him with his little act that he plays. Don't pity that retched boy, he's done far worse than you can imagine. Before he entered into the military, he killed his mother and his brother. Who knew a kid so young could harbor the hate to kill his own family?_

_It's too bad that your friend is hurt because of him, dying in the streets of the night before I came to get him. They are both now in my custody. You can come get them if you want but I'll warn you. You can only save one. Try to find me, Flame, but the choice is yours. Do you want to save the Fullmetal brat or do you want to save your best friend? Choices, choices. Best choose wisely or else you'll be in for a hell of a future._

Roy stared at the letter. He didn't want to believe it. Not this. Ed was supposed to be home safe in the house with no one there with him and Hughes, he had been missing.

_Where the hell are they? _He thought to himself slamming the letter to the table before running out the door. He ignored the questioning looks he got from the rest of the group as he left.

Hawkeye has stood up when the door to his office opened, but when he said nothing to her or anyone she went in to inspect the office. She found the letter lying on the desk, crinkled some from how Roy had been holding it. Picking it up she began to read.

_One? _She asked herself, staring out the door at the others. "Come on, men, we're going to help Mustang."

…

Darkness surrounded him, the feeling of cold floor against his skin sent shivers down his back. Slowly his eyes blinked open to see that he was truly in the darkness. Everything around him was dark. Was he dreaming or was he dead? He couldn't tell, not that he cared. The last thing he wanted was to make the others around him suffer. He killed his family and this is his payment for what he had done. He deserved this pain and suffering.

Blinking a few more times, he tried to move from where he lay but found that his body was numb. Numb to point that he couldn't move anymore. He took a deep breath, thinking that it would help, yet a sharp pain seared through his body, telling him that it wasn't the best of ideas. Closing his eyes again, he tried to figure out where he was and why he was there. Soon the memories began to replay in his mind. The memory of the course of action that had taken place with Winry sprang to his mind. Her angry words toward him, his pleading that he didn't do it and then the pain. Pain that was sent throughout his body from the bullet that penetrated his shoulder. _"I hope you die, Edward Elric." _He remembered the anger and sadness in that voice. She wanted him to die because he had killed his family. Ed had watched her leave his room as the pain grew worse and he had slowly passed out from pain and had fallen from the bed.

Yet, he knew that he was no longer in Roy's home, where he was supposed to be safe. The floor beneath him didn't feel right, didn't feel like that of a floor in a home. It was colder, unwelcoming and unforgiving. It was like he was in hell, where your sins were cast upon you for the rest of eternity and you had no escape but to live it. Torture to the end of the world, he believed he was going to die in this place. Roy wouldn't come save him. He wouldn't risk what he had to save a pathetic child as he.

"Mom… Al…" He breathed heavily, trying to ignore the immense pain that seared through him as he breathed. "Please… forgive me…"

…

Roy raced through the streets toward his home; he thought maybe he could get a clue on where to find them from his home. Why? He had no idea but he would try. It was the last place that Ed was; the last place that he knew that he was safe. The only people who knew he was there was the military, his friends. They wouldn't betray him like that and try to kill Ed and Hughes, would they? No. He shook his head; trying to convince himself of that but right now he had to find the two of them. He had to figure out a way to save both of them so that he didn't lose either of them.

Hughes was his long time best friend, though he couldn't just leave him there to save Ed.

Ed was suffering in the guilt that he lost his family and blamed himself for it. There was no way that Roy could just abandon him at such a young age with those thoughts.

He cared for both of them and wanted them both alive. Gracia and Elicia relied on him to bring Hughes back to them in one piece; he feared that they would hold him responsible if he couldn't do just that. There was so much that he wanted to do for both of them, to help them with that his mind was in a state of panic at having to choose only one of them.

When he arrived at his home, he raced to the bedroom where Ed had been when he left for work that morning. The door was left ajar as if someone was in a hasty retreat to leave the room. Could it have been the person who kidnapped him or someone who was trying to get rid of him? Roy had no idea but he feared what he would see when he pushed the door completely open. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached his hand out and pushed on the wooden door letting it swing open. His eyes grew wide as his vision came on the sight of blood on the sheets of the bed and on the floor. Fear rose in him as he realized that Ed could be very dead at that moment and the man who had taken him was just playing him. Taking a step forward he moved closer to the bed. The smell that filled the room was a mixture of blood and sweat, Roy scrunched his nose as it made its way to him.

"Ed," he whispered, looking down at the sheets of the bed and seeing the amount of blood that must have been lost. His once clean military boots stood in the pool of blood that covered the floor.

"Sir," he heard someone say from the doorway.

Turning his head, he saw that Hawkeye and Havoc were standing in the doorway.

"We have found a possible lead, sir," she said, seeing the blank look that filled his eyes. "I believe that if we find them soon enough, we can save them both."

Roy nodded slowly, trying to regain his general-like composure. "Good work." Turning away from the blood his began to walk toward the two at the doorway when he noticed something lying on the bed. He reached down and picked up the crumpled piece of paper that lay there. There in his hands was a picture of a younger Ed, an Ed with a smile on his face with, who he assumed to be, his brother and mother with him.

"Hawkeye. Havoc."

"Sir," the two said in unison, saluting as they did so.

"Let's find them," he said, more commanding than he thought he could be at that moment. He knew at that moment, seeing the picture that was worn and nearly in ruins, that what Ed claimed he did was untrue. Someone must've filled his mind with lies to make him come to the conclusion that he had. No one, who loved their family that much would have killed them and lived. Roy had to find Ed, had to convince him that he did nothing wrong and he had to find Hughes, to take him back to the family that he loved and cherished.

As he walked toward the car that Hawkeye and Havoc had waiting outside his home, he shoved the picture into his pocket and resolved that no matter what. He would find and save them both.

No matter what…

…

**A/N: okay sorry folks for taking so long to update this story. With trying to write a new one along with this one, that no one seemed to like, I had a writer's block with this story that turned out to be a writer's wall of unconquering Anyway, please review and give me feedback!! I will do my best to keep these coming!!**


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